[ He has two distinct styles: the public-facing, tastefully ostentatious style that exists as a means to an end, and the more understated, characteristic style of his private spaces. To his knowledge, Isolde hasn't yet seen much of the latter. ]
( she considers it for a moment, weighing what she thinks versus what she imagines mark wants to hear versus what gets mark to trust her. any time he asks a question, it's a opportunity — even this, some way to move a piece on the board to paint her in a particular light.
at the same time, honesty is ultimately what makes isolde such a talented liar. she doesn't have to pretend — the truth and what she wants him to see are so often the same answer. )
it helps me meet people. and there's a community around it.
well. i train at buffy's gym, too. slay you later — it's kind of a corny name. she's nice, though. a lot of the people there are good fighters. do you want to know my schedule?
( do u know what it feels like to be fake engaged to the most annoying man in the world ? )
tonight. probably late. midnight.
you know that was a bigger question, right? something about if we're still painting our relationship in a certain light to the public. or what the game plan is with that. or if you even want to be involved with me, while we're here. or if you want to know what i'm up to while our wedding is pushed. kind of a load bearing question.
i want ( she doesn't send, but keeps her cursor there, debating. the dots suggesting typing disappear on mark's end, and she's left with her thoughts — knowledge of what she has to do, for the saints, for her uncle, make him believe it, whatever it takes. and the distance, almost intangible knowledge of what she wants to do, what the truth of that is, the same truth she told him in her father's study, before her broke her in pieces. i want to be married, she thinks, but mark would never believe it. isolde isn't sure she believes it yet, beyond wanting to do a good job, to be told she did a good job, to do exactly what is expected and desired and wanted of her. so. small truth. more honest. ) to be friends.
i don't think it's out of the question for something true to be in the foundation of our relationship. i don't have many friends. and i can't speak for you, but i'm alone. or lonely. all the time. i want to not be lonely. if possible.
[He isn't sure he actually wants to hear the answer to it though, given that it's going to hurt either way. But alternate reality or not, he has a job to do. And he can't do that without all the details first. So-]
Are you and Isolde going to be moving in together, here?
[ He has to stop himself from responding that she would be wasting that request on him. Did you know our Tristan was prom king? is on the tip of his fingers before reason catches up with him. ]
I started the night with one, but she ditched me for a willing dance partner.
I can promise my attention won't be divided this time around.
( isolde feels relief, and then immediately feels goofy for the relief. imagine being hung up on a date over a decade ago, with your fiancé who runs a sex club for a living. )
does that mean you're planning to dance with me? i didn't go to prom. i did go to cotillion though.
[The dangers of being given a night off, knowing that Mark is with Isolde, and having access to a bottle of something a hell of a lot stronger than the usual Żywiec porter. Time for a middle of the night, drunk text...]
i can't do rhis. i can't sit here and watch you both when you know hlw i feel about you. i feel like you've torn mu heart ojt and stomped it into the ground, and i don't know how i'm meant to carry on, knowing i can't have uou
i need to leave. but i promised i wluldn't and it's killing me
you have each otyer now, so why can't you just tell me to go? the only reason i still exist in your world is because i'm youe bodyguard. i can be replaced
[Urgh. Okay, time to find a fresh bottle. Hold please, caller.]
You and Isolde are going to be married. It doesn't matter if it's- Shit. [Unintelligible muttering] It doesn't matter if it's real behind the scenes or not, you'll still be Mr and Mrs Trevena. I can't be a part of that.
[Yes, he has indeed found the speech to text option. So much easier to keep drinking when he has both hands free.]
[After two weeks of forced non-contact and far too much time spent with a certain US President...]
Mr Trevena.
[Where the hell is he even meant to start?]
I'm sorry for disappearing without warning you first. But I was given a quest that involved me having to stay away from you. I was going to use it to move you up a level, but I don't think I can anymore.
I want to. I do. But President Moore [How to say "is a danger to himself" without saying it?] could be in trouble if he stays in Bronze alone. So I think I need to use my reward on him.
I'm sorry.
[It's not everything he wants to say. Isn't really anywhere near close to revealing the realization he'd come to over the past two weeks. But the rest feels like something that should be shared in person. Something that he needs to be face to face with Mark to say.]
They've promoted me to Gold though, which means I have my own room now.
Would you meet me there tonight, sir? Please. I need to talk to you about something else too.
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text — un: HONEYSUCKLE
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[ As if he doesn't already know... ]
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you'll like it. it fits your style.
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You said it was more like a hobby.
What do you like about it?
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at the same time, honesty is ultimately what makes isolde such a talented liar. she doesn't have to pretend — the truth and what she wants him to see are so often the same answer. )
it helps me meet people. and there's a community around it.
plus, it's physical. like exercise.
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I'm glad you've found that for yourself. Though I admit I would have expected you to find it somewhere more like your dojo.
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well. i train at buffy's gym, too. slay you later — it's kind of a corny name. she's nice, though. a lot of the people there are good fighters.
do you want to know my schedule?
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I only need to know your next shift. I'll be there then.
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tonight. probably late. midnight.
you know that was a bigger question, right? something about if we're still painting our relationship in a certain light to the public. or what the game plan is with that. or if you even want to be involved with me, while we're here. or if you want to know what i'm up to while our wedding is pushed.
kind of a load bearing question.
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We can discuss the finer details but whether I want to be involved with you isn't in question, Isolde.
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last time i saw you, you said some of the worst things anyone has ever said to me, and then you left.
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And that's precisely why what I want shouldn't factor half as much as what you do.
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i don't think it's out of the question for something true to be in the foundation of our relationship. i don't have many friends.
and i can't speak for you, but i'm alone. or lonely. all the time.
i want to not be lonely. if possible.
@thomas.
[He isn't sure he actually wants to hear the answer to it though, given that it's going to hurt either way. But alternate reality or not, he has a job to do. And he can't do that without all the details first. So-]
Are you and Isolde going to be moving in together, here?
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Besides, we haven't been married yet. It would be improper.
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I would've thought you'd want to stay close to her, after all this time.
[Says the guy that feels like he's dying already after less than a day away from them both.]
text — un: HONEYSUCKLE
( attached screenshot. )
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What kind of fiancé would I be if I let you go to prom alone?
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i think i'm wearing white. with rhinestones.
did you go to your school's prom?
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[ Guy who is thinking about that bathing suit and also the bridal fitting room... ]
I did. Compulsory brother duty.
Melody didn't appreciate that I spent most of the night intimidating her date. I didn't appreciate that her date was a prat.
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but you didn't take a date?
( isolde surely you aren't about to get jealous of a theoretical teenaged girl ... )
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I started the night with one, but she ditched me for a willing dance partner.
I can promise my attention won't be divided this time around.
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does that mean you're planning to dance with me?
i didn't go to prom. i did go to cotillion though.
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Not your idea, I'm guessing.
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school mandatory. i got paired up with andrew nicholson.
he was not as good of a dancer as you are.
😶🌫️
i can't do rhis. i can't sit here and watch you both when you know hlw i feel about you. i feel like you've torn mu heart ojt and stomped it into the ground, and i don't know how i'm meant to carry on, knowing i can't have uou
i need to leave. but i promised i wluldn't and it's killing me
i can't do this anymore
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[ It's a moot point, when no one can actually leave, but Mark never demanded that promise from him. That must have been Isolde. ]
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tell me to leave. please. i need you yo fire me
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I haven't changed my stance.
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[Urgh. Okay, time to find a fresh bottle. Hold please, caller.]
You and Isolde are going to be married. It doesn't matter if it's- Shit. [Unintelligible muttering] It doesn't matter if it's real behind the scenes or not, you'll still be Mr and Mrs Trevena. I can't be a part of that.
[Yes, he has indeed found the speech to text option. So much easier to keep drinking when he has both hands free.]
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By all accounts, we're not even in the same dimension as the one where our marriage will be recorded.
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[His thoughts are broken up, each coming through as a separate text as his phone takes his silence as a finished message.]
I told you that I get attached, and that it's a problem. I can't. Want you. Because then I won't be able to let go. I won't.
I won't be able to go back to how things should be when we go home.
[More drinking, in a failed attempt at dulling the pain of ripping his own heart out instead.]
So just tell me to leave, Mark. Please. I don't think I can survive you otherwise.
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This is an opportunity. Time we wouldn't have elsewhere. I'd like to make the most of it.
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You and Isolde have a future together. I don't. So you can't say something like that. It's cruller than making me leave would ever be.
text — un: HONEYSUCKLE
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no. but there are orgasms foretold. orgasms in prophecy.
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@thomas
Mr Trevena.
[Where the hell is he even meant to start?]
I'm sorry for disappearing without warning you first. But I was given a quest that involved me having to stay away from you. I was going to use it to move you up a level, but I don't think I can anymore.
I want to. I do. But President Moore [How to say "is a danger to himself" without saying it?] could be in trouble if he stays in Bronze alone. So I think I need to use my reward on him.
I'm sorry.
[It's not everything he wants to say. Isn't really anywhere near close to revealing the realization he'd come to over the past two weeks. But the rest feels like something that should be shared in person. Something that he needs to be face to face with Mark to say.]
They've promoted me to Gold though, which means I have my own room now.
Would you meet me there tonight, sir? Please. I need to talk to you about something else too.