( do u know what it feels like to be fake engaged to the most annoying man in the world ? )
tonight. probably late. midnight.
you know that was a bigger question, right? something about if we're still painting our relationship in a certain light to the public. or what the game plan is with that. or if you even want to be involved with me, while we're here. or if you want to know what i'm up to while our wedding is pushed. kind of a load bearing question.
i want ( she doesn't send, but keeps her cursor there, debating. the dots suggesting typing disappear on mark's end, and she's left with her thoughts — knowledge of what she has to do, for the saints, for her uncle, make him believe it, whatever it takes. and the distance, almost intangible knowledge of what she wants to do, what the truth of that is, the same truth she told him in her father's study, before her broke her in pieces. i want to be married, she thinks, but mark would never believe it. isolde isn't sure she believes it yet, beyond wanting to do a good job, to be told she did a good job, to do exactly what is expected and desired and wanted of her. so. small truth. more honest. ) to be friends.
i don't think it's out of the question for something true to be in the foundation of our relationship. i don't have many friends. and i can't speak for you, but i'm alone. or lonely. all the time. i want to not be lonely. if possible.
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Date: 2026-01-17 05:50 am (UTC)tonight. probably late. midnight.
you know that was a bigger question, right? something about if we're still painting our relationship in a certain light to the public. or what the game plan is with that. or if you even want to be involved with me, while we're here. or if you want to know what i'm up to while our wedding is pushed.
kind of a load bearing question.
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Date: 2026-01-17 05:57 am (UTC)We can discuss the finer details but whether I want to be involved with you isn't in question, Isolde.
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Date: 2026-01-17 06:10 am (UTC)last time i saw you, you said some of the worst things anyone has ever said to me, and then you left.
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Date: 2026-01-17 06:20 am (UTC)And that's precisely why what I want shouldn't factor half as much as what you do.
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Date: 2026-01-17 06:39 am (UTC)i don't think it's out of the question for something true to be in the foundation of our relationship. i don't have many friends.
and i can't speak for you, but i'm alone. or lonely. all the time.
i want to not be lonely. if possible.